Today after as I finished my work and my volunteer transcribing task, I suddenly had a period of time that is totally “blank"–there is nothing waiting for me to be done. I forgot when was the last time I had such a break, a break with nothing waiting in my laptop. This is great when you have a plan to go out with friends or even just yourself, but when you come back home, this total blank can be uncomfortable and easily calls for unnecessary doubt about if no further projects will be coming my way.
Actually, with a sudden break like this, maybe I should enjoy it more with reading books, watching videos, or writing stories, but strangely I didn’t do these things today. Probably certain part of me has become workaholic and it makes me feel I cannot have too much spare time. I really wonder since when everything has become like this and if there is any solution. Maybe I am afraid of the total blank, it makes me feel I’ve lost connection to the world–even if it’s just a few persons from my company, and the emails either come all together so it is impossible to answer everyone’s inquiry or just zero, a situation you don’t like but you cannot say anything as this is out of your control.
However, the evening time with no need to work is still wonderful. I can enjoy every minute in every way I like, that makes me feel a little bit better.